world wide wed

Marriage. Personally I don’t think there is anything wrong with dating with this intention in mind as an end goal, but I don’t really see the point in just dating for the sake of it. I have met many men who do exactly that, bed-hopping with no intention, no future or commitment in mind…

53611039_274342336795459_587578773365325824_n

 

I’ve only recently felt like broaching the topic with my other half, who I would quite happily spend the rest of my days with. On realising this, I felt the need to have ‘the discussion’. We should have talked about it long before a few years into our relationship. It turns out he never pictured himself getting married (bit of a shock for someone who has wedding dresses coming out of their ears: as pictured!) and he wasn’t sure he ever wanted to get married. Very bad timing on my part to bring this topic up on Boxing Day; all the festivities took a bit of a nose dive after that particular evening!

53839968_339554606690900_8961501167783772160_n

Since then, we’ve spoken about it and it’s something he would like to do and it could be an option for us in the future, *sigh of relief* (this could have been a serious deal breaker for me). But I think the bigger problem is: why are we taught as girls to aspire to marriage, but guys aren’t taught the same?

53684086_652674278500433_5065710893937983488_n

Rather than taking it personally that Ross hadn’t thought about it, I ended up feeling a little confused. Why is it because I am female, I aspire to marriage? Why am I expected to make all my life choices, keeping in mind that marriage in the main goal? And why am I questioned at every family gathering as to when I will be ‘achieving’ this? Shouldn’t men be taught the same thing or should we be able to make that particular life choice ourselves regardless of gender?

53857913_303498510339451_2919771552968867840_n.png

Marriage certainly isn’t for everyone, but as a woman, marriage feels much more like an obligation and a necessity than it does a choice. My sister for example, has chosen not to get married, but their is no doubt in my mind that her and Sanjay have a just a greater love as any other couple. But I still hope for Ross and I, that marriage is in our future. That’s something I definitely want in the future and at least he is open to it. But this whole situation has made me question why I feel like there’s a ticking time bomb over my head to get engaged. I certainly don’t want children for another decade, so what’s the rush? Why do I feel conditioned to race towards marriage just because I’m a woman?

Does anyone else feel like this? or differently, let me know what you think below…

abt sig

 

6 Replies to “world wide wed”

  1. It is weird how we are conditioned a certain way – I love the idea of marriage, people are always surprised because I don’t want kids…but I’d still like to be married one day! I’m nowhere close right now, and suddenly realised I’m not going to a spritely young bride like you see in the movies and worry I’m going to go ‘past-my-best’ before the big day whereas most peoples wedding photos are them in their prime haha! Silly, I know, but just one of those things I can’t help but think.

    Side note: I’m completely in love with you in that second dress.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I went through last year wondering if I even wanted kids, I think I just want to kids back as far as I can! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting kids either, and it shouldn’t matter what age people get married if that’s right for them, I’ve had an 84 year old Bride wear the slinkiest little fishtail gown!

      Thanks Gemma, I love that one too 🙂

      Like

  2. I hear you! There’s me and one other girl in our group who aren’t married yet and the pressure from everyone (even the other girls) is mad – luckily me and my boyfriend are on the same page, which makes it easier to deal with!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: